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[25 Jan 2006|12:42am]
do people still use this shit??! it's amazing.
6 comments|post comment

[08 Nov 2005|01:39pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

talkin that shit behind my back, dirty mackin
tellin your boys that i'm on crack
I JUST DON'T GIVE A FUUUUUCK

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[06 Aug 2005|02:01pm]

Come back to me, this is unconceivable
Breaking apart the ones you love
Hate runs deep for what you've done to us
Left alone through suicide...suicide

I just want to die, take away my life
lay by your side, please...

Come back to me, this is unconceivable
Breaking apart the ones you love
Hate runs deep for what you've done to us
Left alone through suicide

Look at my face you pierce with a blank stare
No dream could prepare a heart for a lifeless friend.
He's gone. Nothing will take back time.
I need him back, but nothing will take back time.

I can see just fine with you in my life,
there by my side as it starts to fade
I know this can't be right, stuck in a dream
a nightmare full of sorrow

Nightmare - full of pain

I look back and see the twisted road
Best friends and despair took its toll

Take away

Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood
all the ones around me, I cared for
and most of all I loved
but I can't see myself that way
please don't forget me
or cry while I'm away

Look at my face you pierce with a blank stare
No dream could prepare a heart for a lifeless friend.
He's gone. Nothing will take back time.
I need him back,
but nothing will take back time.

I can see just fine with you in my life,
there by my side as it starts to fade
I know this can't be right,
stuck in a dream
a nightmare full of sorrow

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fade [05 Aug 2005|01:29pm]

I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness
that my life became 'cause

I just needed someone to talk to
You were just to busy with yourself
You were never there for me
To express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching
Is the bed that I have made

So where were you?
When all this I was going through
You never took the time
To ask me just what you could do

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[26 Jul 2005|01:44pm]

i just don't get it sometimes. wtf did i do that was so fucking horrible you fucking jackass?!?! i still don't see it and it's been what? 3 FUCKING MONTHS. i'm always up for admitting that i'm wrong when i am. but this is just some stupid baby bullshit. I DIDN'T FUCKING DO ANYTHING. nothing, not one thing. and everything you say i did wrong, i have something to back it up. maybe i said a few things wrong. BUT NOT SO FUCKING HORRIBLE THAT IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN. stupid fucking grudge holders. yo i swear when your old and alone you'll know why. cuz your a cold hearted bastard. you shouldn't even be considered a real friend because you treat everyone like they are nothing and like your fucking god. OH FUCKING PLEASE. you'll never change. you'll always be the way you are right now. cuz you never tryed to make shit better like you always said you would, but everything stayed the same. and i always tryed, but its kind of hard when the other person isn't doing dick in the relationship. oh god, i have letters upon letters upon letters...and they all say the same fucking thing. you basically lied to me cuz none of that shit happend. yeah, i can't change anyone, and you obviously didn't want to change for yourself either. nor make yourself better like you said. i know i offended you when i told you to grow up...but weren't you the one who said i was right about that? these were your exact words i remember "i can't act like such a little kid anymore." oh and you also said something like "i know sometimes you don't believe the things i say because you don't wanna get hurt i mean the things i say. your everything i've ever wanted and i would never hurt you." HAHA talk about shouting someone out. see, that was a lie too. you can't say that everything was a waste of time and you DEFFINITLY can't say that we weren't happy once. cuz yeah again, you'd be lieing. your reasoning is reallly retarded too. i mean where do you get off thinking that you're always right? thats just ridiculous. thats like impossible. that just isn't fair at all, how can you do that to someone? and saying that you never loved me is bullshit too buddy, keep telling yourself that and justtttt maybe you'll feel a little better. you know what, it sucks that it has to be like this, but right now i don't give a fuck, i'm not gonna stand around anymore and take bullshit from you, you might not even read this and thats ok too. because i let all that shit out and i feel alot better now than i did 20 minutes ago. and i really hope one day you see how fucking bad you hurt me and how much i was hurting. cuz i've never hurt like that in my life. if you do read it, good. CUZ I MEANT EVERY FUCKING WORD.

LOVE, ASHLEY [17 Jul 2005|11:49pm]
listen sean. i tried to act like everything was fine. but dont fucking put this shit on me. you said you didnt even care about that fucking test or w/e then all of a sudden you want to take it and you call me mad early and with an attitude and then i say okay well go and then u fucking have an attitude cus ali, jonathan and jordan were in the car. DONT ASK ME TO DO YOU A FAVOR AND THEN BITCH ABOUT WHO WAS WITH ME. IM WILLING TO DO ANYTHING U NEED ME TO DO FOR YOU BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN GRATEFUL EVEN IF I PICKED U UP ON A MOTHERFUCKING BICYCLE IN THE SNOW PULLING PEOPLE IN A WAGON. and to boot you were fucking nasty as hell and then when we got there you were taking FFOOORRREEEVVEEEERRR knowing there were ppl in the car and when i said i'll just drop them off and i'll com back u were like "nah it aight i'll just take the bus" AND HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DID I SAY ARE YOU SURE!? i'm not playing this fucking back and forth let me try to figure out sean's fucking cryptic hidden messages game because i'm tired of it. and i didn't fucking walk away from you after the movies. as soon as i go tthere i was trying to talk to you and joke with you and you were actin glike i wasnt even there and then when the movie ended YOU WALKED to god knows where and we were all like where the fuck are they going but i wasnt about to chase you down the fucking parking lot if thats what you were wanting. then we saw you and thats when i drove there and asked if you needed a ride anywhere so STOP trying to make yourself look fucking cute talking bout "i said i live right up the street.. duh" or w/e the fuck you said to imani or to anyone else cus i was just tryin to be nice cus i didnt know if olympia had to go to her house or if you were going there so fuck it sean.

i dont have anything to "step up" to. and sorry i didn't answer my phone after your fucking test. i left my shit in the car and by the time i found out you called me vinny had already told me you hated me and all this shit. soooo you wana act like this then do it because im not guna try anymore sean because im tired of you playing the innocecnt victim game when YOU had an attitude and YOU acted like an asshole and YOU just fucking play games and expect me to fucking decode everything you say. SORRY i dont keep my phone up my ass 24/7 but you could have talked to me instead of calling everyone and their fuckin mother telling them what i supposably did wrong and how i hurt u cus its a bunch of fucking bullshit and you know. im not saying i wasnt wrong but i am saying im not the ONLY ONE.

and i dont know what the fuck is going on between you and vinny or w/.e cus your journal says one thing or just not the whole story and he says another so you guys need to talk and get back to me with what REALLY happened and what was really said and how you feel because i know sometimes you tell people shit or write shit and you dont mean it and youre actually like dying inside but you put up this big fucking bad front. you seem to have forgotten that i know you better then you obviously think.

and how fucking low is that that you wanted everyone to tell me you had fucking hiv just so id feel bad. thats pathetic and spiteful. i would never pull that shit.

this all got blown wwwwwaaaaaayyyyyyyy out of proportion and befpore this happened we were great. and im sorry if you think i ruined whatever we had and that things will never be the same and all that shit because if its not it will be because of you and your senseless grudge holding. not mine. this shit happens every fucking summer and i dont ever know why or what the fuck i did. but im really tired of it. and im really starting not to give a fuck anymore so unless you wana fix shit and talk cus i really want to, then do it. but dont act like i didn't make an attempt at the movies and dont act like i didnt try. sorry i didnt just bust out and say that i was wrong and all that shit cus i know thats prolly what you fucking wanted but im not playing fucking tag with you anymore. i wuld have apologized for some shit if you would have been a bit more social with mnore than just one person. i admit i wish i would have been with you during the test. dont act like i dont love you and dont act like i never show it because you klnow damn well i do and if its one of us that shows they love the other its def. me that always shows you. but u didnt even want the test then all of a sudden you do and you act l;ike its no fucking big deal and you know you did and you said dont worry ill just take the bus andi asked are u sure 945739475934 5times and if you didnt have the fucking whatever you need to tell me to stay well i suggest you find some brcause i guess i chose the wrong time to decide to not figure out what u reallly wanted. we both have to give a little its not just me whos always in the wrong like you LAWYAS UCKING MAKE IT OUT TO BE.

i'll give someone your ten bucks
RELAY THAT FUCKING MESSAGE ALI

Well I can't regret,
can't you just forget it?
I started something I couldn't finish
And if we go down,
we go down together
best friends means,
well best friends means

And I've got a twenty-dollar bill
that says you're up late night starting
fist fights versus fences in your backyard
Wearing your black eye like a badge of honor
Soaking in sympathy
from friends who never loved you
nearly half as much as me


Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's something unforgivable...ohoh

Well I can't regret,
can't you just forget it?
I started something I couldn't finish
If we go down,
we go down together
best friends means,
well best friends means

You never knew
well i never told you...
Everything I know about breaking hearts
I learned from you, it's true
I've never done it with the style and grace you have
But I've made long term plans
based on these mistakes

Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's something unforgivable

Is this what you call tact?
I swear you're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back
so let's end this call,
and end this conversation
there's nothing worse...
(that's right he said, that's right he said it)
I swear, you have no idea
The jealousy that became me thinking
(that's right he said)
that you always had it way too easy

Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's something unforgivable

Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
3 comments|post comment

new journal [28 Jun 2005|12:44am]
[ mood | chill ]

ok, so this is my fresh start. i just need to say a couple of things before i get this thing started.

1. i'm being extra extra extra careful about what i say in this thing...because you cannot trust a single soul on this earth.
2. i'm only adding people that i want. a select few. a select few who i don't care reads this.
3. keep the drama far far away from me, because it always ends up biting me in the ass anyway. ^_^

enjoy, cuz it's friends only for the rest of this journals life...however long it lasts.

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